Personal Log 002B

Posted on 27 May 2012 @ 1:42pm by Lieutenant Commander Pola Ni Dhuinn M.D.

1,212 words; about a 6 minute read

Computer, restart log,

Sorry about that, I tripped and needed to recompose myself. Blasted foot. Ye...about the foot....

I may have had abit of an accident yesterday. I don't know how or why but I allowed my concentration to slip and of course it had to result in a disastrous outcome. I still don't understand how it happened. How many times have I preformed that Fouett rond de jambe en tournant step...I could do it in my sleep! I'm usually so good at keeping my mind focused on the steps I'm dancing and blocking everything else out, it's why of all the dances I do when I'm stressed I choose ballet.

*sound of a frustrated sighs and opening and closing of drawers*

Anyway...when I came to move out of the step I didn't balance myself correctly so I ended up going over on my left foot. Only I could manage to tear my Achilles tendon and fracture my lateral melleolus. Thankfully, our new medical officer, cum counsellor, was on hand and, if I do say so, was extremely efficient. He managed to repair the damage. If I'm lucky I'll be back dancing within 2weeks. Until then, I'm trying to figure out how to walk in this...boot.

I'll tell you one thing, I'll never take my own balance and inertial dampeners for granted again. Even the act of getting up in the morning has become a challenge. I am keeping myself off of my left foot as much as possible, except when the boot is on as I am insistent that I will be back to dancing as soon as possible. I know my left ankle will be weak for a time after but there's dances I can still do to help strengthen the tendon and the muscles, hopefully preventing this from happening again.

On the subject of Brayden though, we were extremely lucky when he decided to wander aboard this ship. I've had nothing but absolutely positive feedback from the crew as a whole. I know he has his concerns about having to have been made to accept a rank if he wished to stay on but I have every confidence that he will be able to pull through this.

He's acting as both a counsellor and a medical officer at this moment in time and by all indications is, he doing a fantastic job with both. I had a look back over the scans of the repair he did with my ankle and I am very impressed. I can't find any fault or anywhere where there might be room for improvement. He is very efficent and meticulous with his work. I see the same evident in the reports of his psych evals which I'm currently keeping an eye on until a full time Chief Counsellor is found. I need to be careful though, I still can't figure out how the mess hall chef Ansen would think something had happened between me and my colleague. I am Brayden's boss and he's become both my Doctor and my Counsellor, absolutely nothing can happen of a romantic nature between us, and he's 38...think he's a little too old for me.

*sounds of soft laughter*

And then!!! On the subject of counsellors Acting Chief Counsellor, I cannot believe the day I have had with that! At two seperate meeting I had to play the role of devil's advocate. The role of a Chief Counsellor, as laid out by Starfleet themselves, is to offer advise on the attitudes and behaviours of other species. To ensure that if he or she witnesses decisions being made in the heat of moments that they give advise and recommend alternatives. More often then not, they get ignored but it's still the duty of a Chief Counsellor to do this, it enables them to be able to look out for the morale and safety of the crew.

Today thought me how difficut it is to be a CMO, or even a Chief Counsellor, on the level of senior staff. People seem to forget that we first and foremost have to live by our Hippocratic Oath. We swear to treat anyone who needs it no matter who they might be. We swear to never intentionally cause harm to anyone. And then we take our oath as a Starfleet officer. When you are in Senior staff the balance is so delicate. You have a responsibility to protect the well being of the crew and the staff under you, where do you cross the line of protection or your people and issuing a command to shoot somebody? I sometimes think people view those in medical as having an easy life when in truth, it's one of the most difficult jobs which you can do.

From a counsellor's perspective, 95% of the people they see are uncomfortable with counsellor's and don't want to be there. This makes their job difficult, how do you carry out a psych eval on a person, getting a true reading or who they are if they fight you the whole way.

The same situation happens in sickbay for Doctor's. People are uncomfortable with being in a place which is related to sickness and illnesses. This being uncomfortable means people look to rush their medicals, fight with you when you try to ask them questions about their past history as they want to get out of there as soon as possible. And then of course there is the patients who forget to tell you about a medical issue they have or an accident where they decide that they do need medical treatment where a medical exam proves otherwise.

It's often like hitting a brick wall. How are you meant to be able to do your job effectively and efficiently when you spend your day trying to argue with people about treatments they need or conversations they need to have with you?

People often ask why do I dance, why do I have an inability to be able to sleep after finishing a beta shift at 0000hours after working from as early as 1200hours from the day before. The answer is simple. The day has been to strenuous, so hard going that I have an inability to be able to relax. I need to just spend time with people who aren't afraid to have a good time with me or I need to do something to push my body to exhaustion, forcing me to sleep, like ballet.

Anyone who looks me in the eye and say that I have an easy job, I'll very easily swap jobs with them for a day, let them live the day of a ship's CMO, or even as a basic Doctor, it is as difficult for them, and then let that person some back to me at the end of the day with a report. If that report shows that the day was easy then I'll resign my position and go find something else to do.

*russling sound followed by a small creak before the russling occurs again for a few moments*

Well...that's my last few days brought up to date I guess. I emotionally and physically drained now...it's been a very long day.

Computer...End Log.

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