Coleman Personal Log- Martian Reflection

Posted on 01 Dec 2012 @ 9:52am by Lieutenant Commander Evelyn Coleman

442 words; about a 2 minute read

I don't know where to begin.

I'm currently on Mars, having met with Jonathan's parents. They both seem like decent people; you can definitely tell John got his looks from his father.

Seems like the rift between his father and John is as large has ever and I can't help be reminded about the relationship I share with my father. Oh he wanted something different for me, something he claims that had more meaning than being part of Starfleet.

Of course he wasn't the only one who disapproved. My brothers and sisters, even some of my friends asked me to stay. Ironically leaving is what saved my life.

Tomorrow I plan on heading to Earth and visit Richard's resting place. I don't know what's wrong with me. Ever since I've joined the Galileo it seems something inside me snapped, a wall crumbled and I'm being exposed. My scars that I long thought were buried deep are now on the surface, opened.

I don't know what path to take, I don't know what to do. For the first time in my life the future is truly foreign to me, an unknown.

I keep on looking at the past, reflecting on my life and how pain filled it's been.

I keep on wondering if I'm repaying some sort of debt for an horrendous error that I've done in the past, but I can't remember. I feel, I feel...

I feel cursed.

My grandfather lived to be a thousand and thirteen. Even if I live to be a thousand, I'm just going to have more pain in my life. See more deaths of those close to me. I will never be able to find a companion to live as long.

It just sucks all around, and as I'm here lying on this god awful mattress in the guest room of Holliday's family home, I can't help think of how petty and weak the elder Holliday's action were. Damn it I wish I only had his problems. Who rejects a son because he doesn't share the same career choice?

*Sigh*

Oh damn it, *groans* why is there a bar in the middle of the mattress?! Urg...

I wonder if she is still on Earth. I've always been able to talk to her, she's might have some answers that I've been looking for...yea I need to sneak out of here. I never went to bed this early before, gosh I'm becoming an old woman.

Oh and one final thing, note to self;vfind out what Holliday uses to clean his teeth with, my mouth still taste like spearmint after laying on one him.

Computer End Log.

RSS Feed