Everything Is Illuminated

Posted on 23 Jan 2013 @ 1:25pm by

3,399 words; about a 17 minute read

Mission: Episode 03 - Frontier
Location: USS Galileo: LTjg Maenad Panne's Quarters
Timeline: MD 2 0600

ON:

The Galileo was slowly rising with activity in the early morning.

Usually Liyar would be engaged in meditation at this point. Or, a more accurate summation, Liyar would attempt to engage in meditation at this point, stand up from his mat and gather his things after another unproductive session. This was an acceptable description of his current state. His thoughts went nowhere, or focused on irrelevant things. He would rather be building his transceiver or calculating one of the old-style Millennium Problems. He returned the asenoi and its set to the shelf and leaned over to gaze out of the window as they warped through the endless drone of space. He wrapped his hands around the rail. In front of him he unbound the small leather package he'd received from sickbay which contained the vials of Lexorin and Tarinol, took a deep breath and pressed both cartridges into the side of his neck consecutively.

The next part of his morning routine normally composed in the mess hall he'd uncharacteristically delegated, taking first-meal alone, at his desk. He idly flicked through reports, messages. He finished and stood at long last, heading down the corridors and through the turbolift, ordering it down to Deck 2. He was surprised to receive a message back from Maenad so soon, and surprised further that the warm feeling of contentment from the previous day was still there in response. He gathered it up mentally and contained it, doing his best to enter the state of calm and attention that would be necessary to guide Maenad through the initial stages of her training. Fortunately kheile'a was non-aggressive. He arrived outside of her door in the same type of roomy meditative clothing he'd worn yesterday and pressed the chime.

The sound of her chime startled Maenad from a comfortably deep sleep in a matter of seconds. Wide awake now, according to the clock an hour too soon, she was annoyed. And hour of sleep made all the difference. She sat up, letting her covers fall down and she begrudgingly climbed out of bed. As always, it took her a moment to find her white robe, and she didn't bother putting any clothes on. If she were lucky, this would only take a second and she could get some more sleep in.

Holding her robe together in front of her chest, Maenad walked to the door while leaving the lights off. Only the starry light of the passing stars illuminated her living room. She opened her doors and, of all the people in the galaxy, it was Liyar. "Ha'tha ti'lu, Liyar," she said without even realising that she had said it. Her tone was dry and almost whiny. "What do you want? Do you have any idea what time it is?"

"Ris shehkuh teh-v pa'," Liyar fired back automatically. The informal phrasing indicated more comfort with Modern Golic over Standard despite not being totally fluent. It dawned on him just then that she usually did not speak in Vulcan and a thick eyebrow flew up. She was wearing an unusual contraption. She lacked her usual grace, which he surmised was a result of just awakening. She was yawning once again. "You returned my message," he reminded her in Standard once more.

"Yes, that was twelve hours ago," she complained, stifling a yawn. "Is there any particular reason you're here right now?"

"You had indicated for me to arrive at this time," Liyar started slowly, the drop at the end making it an almost-question.

"I did?" She asked, frowning. That was impossible. Maenad hated getting up early.

"You did," he was unapologetic.

"I must have made a mistake," she sighed. "If you would like to come inside, we'll have some breakfast and get ready, then."

Liyar disappeared through her doorway once more. It was an odd habit between them now. He reckoned he was more familiar with the inside of her quarters than he was with his own. The paper books and plants and the piano, of course, all stood in their same places. He followed her to the small area where her replicator was tucked in and leaned against the counter, regarding her curiously.

As they walked into the kitchen Maenad, still holding her robe closed lest she embarrass the Vulcan, ordered the lights on to a third their normal setting. "Please, toast with strawberry jam and lightly burnt, two slices, orange juice with no pulp, and a banana," she said to the replicator. She turned to Liyar. "What do you want?" she asked like it were a chore. And it was; she would have preferred to have been sleeping right now.

Liyar stared at the replicator pensively. Where he was from, it would be rude to reject food when it was offered. To Vulcans, offering resources such as food and water were considered honorable, a show of manners. But Maenad was Terran. Said please and thank you to the replicators themselves. Curious - but he could no more be Terran than Maenad could be Vulcan. So, despite already eating and despite finding the possibility of eating repugnant at this time, Liyar nodded. He walked over to her replicator and removed the order that appeared for her, set it aside and then hit a button, turning the translation matrix into the one he'd programmed for his own native language. He spoke in a way that sounded much more eloquent, and graceful than he normally did, even if the words were completely gibberish. "Gespar sash-savas prusah kisan." He hit the button to return the controls to Standard and something that looked a little like a thin slice of pie showed up and he grabbed it, turning around again to observe what it was that Maenad currently dug into. Bread. Some fruit of some kind. Orange juice. Liyar blinked, remembering that he did like orange juice. He leaned over to add, "Orange juice." The cup materialized once again and he moved to sit on a stool at the counter. If he was aware of Maenad's laborious chore regarding him, he didn't seem to show it. It was, after all, a time she had delegated to him to show up. He cut off a slice of the odd thing on his plate and spent time simply observing her wandering around, a contemplative look on his features.

"I would have done it for you," Maenad said to him once he'd moved away with his... whatever it was. "What kind of host would I be to make you serve yourself?" she asked him flatly, then began to eat her toast. She stood across from him, leaning against the opposite counter.

"On Vulcan, guests traditionally serve their hosts," he told Maenad, suffused with a small wryness.

She held her robe closed with the arm that held her plate while she ate with the other. Her thoughts returned to the night before when she had realised how awful she'd been lately, how easily she had succumbed to sexual temptation, how weak she truly was toward Orion pheromones. And then how shattered Lirha was. If only she had taken that stupid pill; why was she so vain? All the while she daydreamed, only moving her mouth to chew and swallow. It was like Liyar wasn't there at all. Before she knew it, her toast was gone.

She set the plate on the counter, seeing her banana and orange juice. She no longer wanted the banana, but she wasn't going to waste it. Maenad quickly peeled it, ate half of it in one single, awkward, bite and then downed her juice. "I can't eat this," she said finally. "You have it," she passed Liyar the other half of the banana.

Liyar blinked down at the thing in front of him. He looked up and watched while Maenad puttered around. The cuffs that adorned his wrists were not doing their job. The emotions he could sense from across the room, their strength a possible factor in his ability to sense them, made a small tension crease in his forehead. He took the banana and ate it, even if it didn't look very appetizing. "You are highly unsettled," he told her quietly, looking to meet her eyes from across the room.

She looked at him when he said that, stopping her gathering of dishes. She blinked, but didn't say anything at first. Maenad went back to what she was doing and recycled the tray and all that was on it. Returning to Liyar, her expression was blank. "I am, yes," she agreed. "I am very unsettled." Maenad walked away into her bedroom, put on her everyday uniform and returned to the kitchen.

"Are you ready to go? Or can we do this here?" she asked him haggardly.

Watching as she left, Liyar was lost in thought for a while until she returned. He stood away from the counter, and approached her, standing over her while shaking his head slightly. "Something has happened."

Maenad really didn't want to talk about this right now. She didn't want to talk at all, though. She wanted to go back to sleep. "Liyar," she sighed. "Must we do this right now?" As much as she liked the Vulcan and had grown relatively used to her thoughts, feelings was more accurate, spilling into his head all the time, right now she minded. There was no hiding anything from him.

There was no acquiescence in his eyes. "You are distressed," he repeated himself. "Something has happened." He wasn't letting it go anytime soon.

The glare she gave him might have given some people the hint, but not Liyar, so she didn't even bother. Instead, she went alongside him and joined his lean against the counter. "I wouldn't know where to begin," she muttered. "And I think you would lose all respect you have for me." Maenad really didn't want to tell him. "If I allow you to access my thoughts, could you do it? And, if you do, would you promise to me never that you will never reveal what you find?"

Liyar's eyes were stormy for a moment. Something had happened. It was something unpleasant. The closer she was to revealing it, the worse these feelings were getting. Lose respect for her? This would not do. Something was wrong. "I can do it," he said with a nod. "And I would respect your privacy. Of course."

"You better," she said dryly. She gave him her hand, not really sure if she were supposed to. "Or else," she warned. She was kidding; Maenad only allowed Liyar to do this because she trusted him.

Liyar placed his hand under her outstretched palm, folding his index, middle and ring fingers over her thumb. In Vulcan culture, it was a gesture that said he was not attempting seduce her or initiate improper contact (had he grabbed both of her fingers with his own, on the other hand, would have been a much different story). But it did not suggest the cool, machine-like mind touches that usually occurred with healers or mind Adepts, either. Whether or not she knew this, it was second nature to him. He sent out a beginning pulse of energy, a thread of sorts that jolted the mind connection into something tangible. They both stood in the kitchenette area, but they also had a sense of being somewhere else, at the same time. A mind-touch, much less invasive. Standing in their kitchen, using the Mind Voice. His voice entered her mind shortly after, and sounded almost nothing like his real voice, which was cold and severe to most people. It couldn't. Whatever shields, whatever masks a Vulcan could use during their lives, were obsolete in mental space. It was impossible to lie in the mindspace. His voice was warm, almost pleased that he could speak with her this way, curious and fascinated by the mind he was connected to. You can show me this way, it appeared from within her. As a mind-voice, his own way of speaking, was much less formal. No language to be needed, really. An oddity, though it still held traces of his usual formalness, maybe that was just part of him. You can comment as we progress, or merely let the memories unfold. I'm not here to judge you.

Without any warning Maenad removed her hand and stepped back.

Liyar lifted his hands both away, non-plussed, leaving them raised for a moment in the universal gesture for 'peace' while she attempted to gather her bearings again. What was instantly comfortable for a psi-native was, undoubtedly, a mistake in perception. (Even if he is going easy, apparently his definition differs.) The experience that Liyar had given her was too much. She couldn't do that right now, she knew. Who was she kidding? She raised her hands to side of her head; this wasn't fair, she thought. This wasn't fair to Lirha. How could Maenad reveal such intimate detail without compromising the other woman's privacy? She couldn't. She just couldn't do it.

"Liyar, I am sorry," Maenad insisted after several seconds. She looked at him, non-perturbed by signs of having broken their link as suddenly as she had. "Last night I ended a relationship that the captain and I had developed. It was purely-- it was purely sexual. Lirha thought that I was showing signs of affection when I was under the influence of her pheromones, but I didn't know that I was. I did not take the suppressant she offered me the first time we met; I believed that I could not be affected. My own pride has hurt us both very much." For the first time since she had realised all of this last night, she really felt that she could really cry. Without thinking, she moved back to Liyar and gave him a powerful hug. "I feel awful," she said over his back. "I don't know how I could have been so terrible," she sniffed.

Blinking for a minute, Liyar allowed the hug, using his soon-becoming compromise by resting his hand on her shoulder in return. Even though she'd broken their link, he had gleaned some information unintentionally, and he'd pieced the rest of it together from what she'd told him. And, for a Vulcan, he could be said to be almost angry. For the first few seconds he processed that, it was possible she assumed it was with her, with what she'd said, but finally he muttered lowly, "Tor kai'kal'i Saalm khart-lan, heh svi'mesh ko'nash dang-nam-tor," in his own language. Even to an outsider it didn't sound very nice. He looked up, and left his hand on her shoulder even while stepping away. He met her eyes. "It is nothing you have done. No respect has been lost. Captain Saalm is an Orion. You are a Terran. I am certain that many Terrans feel as though they cannot be affected. Captain Saalm is responsible for this. Not you. She should have insisted. She grew up on Rigel VII. She knew. Her negligence caused this. If she is pained, it is a pain that she has brought onto herself. She should never have allowed herself to expect a Terran to be capable of resisting her pheromones. It would be akin to a Vulcan expecting a Terran to be able to withstand the Forge. Even as a Vulcan, I am susceptible to Captain Saalm's influence. I was, for a brief period of time before I requested pheromone neutralizers. They were not given to me initially as the common belief is that all Vulcans are incapable of being affected. It is covered under her oath as an Orion in Starfleet. She should have known." His ears were drawn back.

Maenad let out a long sigh, staring at the floor. A few tears has escaped her eyes but she wiped them away before they could drip to the floor. She had ruined everything. Why did Liyar have to ask? More importantly, why did she have to tell him? Now Liyar had a poor opinion of Lirha, of his captain, when he shouldn't have. "No," she shook her head, not looking up. "No." Her eyes then found Liyar's as she remembered last night's dinner. "Lirha is very kind," she quietly insisted. "She had only good intentions, intentions that I reciprocated. I don't want you to dislike her, Liyar," she gave him an assuring smile, sniffing a little.

The Vulcan's expression didn't change a whole lot. No. He did not like Lirha Saalm. This was part of him that he knew was purely Vulcan, that he could not explain to anyone outworld. Fury didn't begin to cover it. It was well hidden in his neutral emotionless demeanor, and he closed his eyes slowly to get rid of it in his face as well. To find the Calm within, as a Vulcan. Even now, he could not explain this reaction, in this scenario. When he opened them to look down at her, he could feel through their contact how upset Maenad was that she had spoken. How aggravating the whole situation was, to have back and forth misery and angst flown around. To deal with the responses of people, to a woman she clearly liked. Even if that woman made a grave mistake and hurt Maenad. "You must not take this onto yourself," Liyar finally said, his voice equally quiet. "It was not, 'pride' or 'vanity'," he said, still standing close to her. "But you must not insist it is your doing. You are not terrible. You are Terran. I watch them all day. They think that they can do things, they simply cannot do. And," he gestured a little helplessly, "Sometimes it is advantageous to them to try, and others it is not. But the fault lies not with you. She neglected to be responsible for your wellbeing. It may not have been on purpose, but that is what she did. As a result, you blame yourself. It would be," he gestured again, "Like blaming a Terran who did decide to run off into the Forge by themselves unknowingly. Any Vulcan that did not stop them would be accountable. You did not know, Maenad. She did. This is not your doing." He sighed, just a little. "I will not judge Captain Saalm," he relented, although in the pit of him, where the Rage was, he filed this incident away to make sure it never happened again, "But I regret that she caused you pain."

"Thank you," Maenad whispered, "I would really appreciate it if you kept your thoughts toward Lirha to yourself. Tell no one about any of this. She is a truly wonderful person. I just... well, you know what I think," she sighed. "And," she took a step closer to him after staring into the distance, her eyes now flickering between his, "Thank you again, Liyar." Maenad wiped at her eyes and glanced at Liyar's plate and glass. "Are you finished? Let me take them for you," without waiting for a reply, she took the Vulcan's dishes and recycled them in the replicator. "Where are we going to do this training?" she asked, turning around to face him.

Liyar gave her shoulder a mild squeeze. It wasn't a smile, or a discernible emotion, but it was the only thing he could think of to do, before she stepped away completely and grabbed his dishes. He inwardly lamented his poor orange juice going into the reclamator, but drew himself up and offered her a bow of his head, clasping his hands behind him. "I will not repeat what we have spoken of here. As for the training, yes, I have reserved a holodeck. When you are through, we shall go there."

"Then I am ready now," she tried to give a real smile, probably failing. "Lead the way."

[OFF]

Lieutenant (JG) Maenad Panne
Chief Science Officer
USS Galileo

Lieutenant (JG) Liyar
Diplomatic Officer, VDF/SDD
USS Galileo

RSS Feed