Can't I for once just be normal

Posted on 13 Jul 2015 @ 8:37am by Ensign Jaana Voutilainen

554 words; about a 3 minute read

Mission: Episode 09 - Empires
Location: USS Galileo - Deck 03 - Jaana's Quarters
Timeline: MD 03 - 10.00 hours

ON:

Jaana rushed in her quarters. "Tuula?? Are you there??" she yelled. She had already checked with the computer what her sister's location was, but with Tuula you could never know. After checking in the bedrooms that the room was really empty she let out a sigh of relief, removed her jacket and walked over to the replicator. She left her research of the system, which was both known and unknown to them, in order to eat. She was suddenly so hungry. Not really hungry but more craving for food. It wasn't that surprising that her craving for food came now, with everything that happened after the ship's earlier mission and all the stress and added workload it had given her. And her last craving had already been four days, two days more than normal.

She ordered a whole bunch of food. Pancakes, sushi, octopus a spinach meat casserole and as last a banana milkshake. She had to walk three times to get all the food to the table. Unable to wait any longer she unshed her jacket and tossed it to the ground and attacked the food in front of her. Not even bothering to use cutlery.

As she ate her mind went blank, her emotions and feelings were gone. No more feeling fat and ugly. No more feeling ashamed when she made and error with work. No more thinking about how disgusting she was. And how guilty she was because she knew she was destroying her body. She had used Tuula's medical tricorder a few days ago and knew her body was suffering. Her blood pressure was way lower than it should be, her liver was failing. And then there were the obvious things she didn't need a tricorder to see. Even though she brushed her teeth three times a day the heartburn was ruining them. And her last period had been weeks ago.

Having finished all the food in less than 15 minutes, her brain started working her again. She looked at the table in front of her in disgust. What was wrong with her? Why couldn't she just be normal for once in her life? Tears started running over cheeks. Her stomach was rumbling. Having been deprived of food for more than 24 hours followed by a huge amount of food it had to process in a very time. She quickly went to the bedroom. For a change she didn't even need to help her body getting rid of all the food she had consumed. The throwing up came by itself. After it was finished she washed her face and brushed her teeth.

She walked to her bedroom and changed into her workout clothes. She was going to exercise in the gym. She had come with that tradition after the first food craving she had. Knowing that the pucking wouldn't help her in getting slimmer, in losing a few pounds. But exercising would. So she came up with a rigorous training plan, starting with running for 30 minutes on a heavy setting.

But this time she didn't get that far. After leaving her quarters she started to feel lightheaded combined with a severe pain in her belly. She managed to get a few steps towards the turbolift before she fell to the ground unconscious.

OFF:

Jaana Voutilainen
Stellar Cartographer
USS Galileo

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