The Romulan Hello

Posted on 12 Sep 2018 @ 11:37am by Master Chief Petty Officer Kai Mazen & Lieutenant Lake ir-Llantrisant

1,985 words; about a 10 minute read

Mission: Episode 15 - Emanation
Location: USS Galileo-A - Chief Counselor's Office
Timeline: MD 139 - 1330 hours

[ON]

After the computerized door-chime sang out, the counselor could be heard to say, "Enter," from behind the pair of door panels before they separated and receded into the bulkhead. Within the office, the Romulan in a Starfleet uniform could be seen perched on the edge of his desk chair, entranced by something unseen. His gaze was entranced by the characters scrolling across the LCARS display that was protruding from his desk. So enthralled by the words was Lake ir-Llantrisant that he didn't look up when the doors parted.

Kai approached the counselor's desk.

"Lieutenant ir-Llantrisant?" the Chief of the Boat said. "Master Chief Hospital Corpsman Kai Mazen. If you have a moment, I'd like to get this entry session out of the way. I've got quite a bit of work to do throughout the ship."

Blinking hard, Lake's gaze turned soft and he shook his head slightly. Having been so in his own head, it took him a moment to recognize his surroundings. "Master Chief Mazen," Lake said, and then he said, "Yes." It took another heartbeat more for social programming to kick in, and Lake said, "May your day be filled with peace," by rote.

Finally, Lake's eyes narrowed on Kai. Lake smiled faintly, but the expression didn't last long. "When you say you'd like to get our entry out of the way due to your work," Lake shared, "it feels like my service to Starfleet is of lesser utility than yours..."

Then you're an idiot, Lieutenant, Kai thought to himself. And a self-important one at that. Why are you making that my problem?

Kai assumed the counselor wasn't a telepath, most Romulans he'd encountered weren't, but it really didn't matter. Federation law and Starfleet regulations gave Kai the right to his own thoughts, so even the smug bastard could read his thoughts, he couldn't do or say anything about it. Besides, anti-telepathy training was part of being a Raider.

"Sorry if I gave you that impression, Lieutenant," Kai said. "Unlike a lot of people, I don't think counselors are a waste of time. You have your uses. I don't even mind talking to you. The honest truth is I'm 100% sure I'm in my right mind and fit for duty, and so did the last counselor I spoke to not long before I left to come here. All of my fitness reports, including my most recent one, agree with that assessment. I don't expect you to rubber stamp me. That would negligent of you. But I do have a lot to do before we launch, so if we could get to it, I would greatly appreciate it, sir."

Standing from behind his desk, Lake responded to Kai's declaration with a dead-eyed, "Mmm." Raising an arm out, Lake gestured to each of the seating options around his office. "What does it mean to you," Lake asked, "to be one-hundred percent in your right mind?"

"I never said I was 100% in my right mind, Lieutenant," Kai replied, taking a seat. "Just that I was 100% certain I was in my right mind. But to answer your question, for me, being in my right mind means that I'm making decisions from a mentally and emotionally stable place, that I'm able to manage my stress in appropriate ways, without letting my stress level negatively impact my ability to perform my duties and interact with others. Next question?"

Standing behind his desk, Lake changed his mind. He dropped back into his chair, keeping the desk between them. "I, hmm, I don't know that I have a next question," he said. "I do find it curious that you use that example. I may be misquoting you again, but I heard you say you manage your stress in ways that don't impact your ability to interact with others. From my perspective, the amount of work you have to do before launch has had an impact on how you interacted with me within a minute of meeting me."

"Do respect, Lieutenant," Kai said. "You started it. The first thing you did was accuse me of saying that my job was more important than yours, forcing me to defend myself. That doesn't put me in the mood to be open and friendly."

"That would be a natural reaction. Most people don't respond with openness and friendship when they received feedback about how they've made another person feel," Lake said with understanding. He nodded mildly; otherwise, his body remained still. His expression remained impassive. "I heard you characterize my feedback as an accusation," Lake said; "You said I forced you to defend yourself when I told you how I felt. Is that what I did? Did I put words in your mouth?"

"No, Lieutenant," Kai said. "I chose words I felt, still feel, were totally appropriate in relation to your unfounded and totally inappropriate accusation."

"Accusation?" Lake echoed, marveling in wonderment at Kai's choice of word. "Again, you've characterized my sharing of my feeling as an accusation. An accusation comes with intent. A feeling is... just a feeling. I can't control how I feel. It can be uncomfortable to hear, and it can be considered inappropriate in some cultures, but I would be doing you a disservice if I didn't tell you how your words impacted me. How do you normally take feedback you feel is unfounded?"

"You can't control how you feel," Kai replied. "But you can keep your feelings to yourself, especially when they're not relevant. We aren't family, and we aren't friends. Your feelings are your business and no concern of mine"

Kai shook his head.

"No offense was intended when I came in here and asked if we could get this evaluation out of the way," he said. "I don't look down on counselors, I don't discount their value to the crew, and I don't avoid them. That's me doing my part. You don't get to ask more from me than that."

Kai took a breath and let it out.

"Look," he said. "I meant no offense. I'm sorry if your feelings got bent out of shape, but that's on you, not me. That's true for me, too. I consciously chose to take offense. I wasn't led around by the nose by my feelings. Maybe I should have chosen not to take offense."

Shrugging lightly, Lake said, "I'd say you should take offense if something seems offensive to you. I'm never going to tell you how to think or feel or what to believe." --He shook his head once, for emphasis-- "For what it's worth, I never believed you thought less of a counselor's work. I thought you deserved to know how your words impacted me, so you could reflect on how you may come across to others, especially when your intent doesn't match the interpersonal impact."

"Fair enough," Kai said. "I've got a lot on my plate, so I could have been somewhat predisposed to taking offense to things that might not have actually been offensive."

Nodding in agreement, Lake affirmed, "I think we're all feeling that way." This time, he was careful not to colour the validation with too much of his own feeling and experience. Kai had made a point of saying they weren't friends, which suggested Lake would need to earn familiarity. Offhandedly, Lake suggested, "Why don't you tell me what's on your plate? Maybe we can solve one of your opportunities together."

Kai laughed.

"There's nothing to solve, Lieutenant," he said. "I have a number of tasks to accomplish, some of which are on-going and won't be 'complete' until we actually warp out of the system. The solution to accomplishing these tasks is good old fashioned hard work, which I can handle easily enough. This launch isn't any different than any other launch I've participated, except that now I'm the CoB, so more people are looking to me for answers than I'm used to."

Kai pronounced the abbreviation of his title the same way a person would pronounce corn cob.

"It sounds like this launch is routine to you," Lake said, bottom-lining everything he just heard. "The only difference is the number of people looking to you for answers. What does it mean to you to be looked to by that many people?"

Kai chuckled.

"That there are going to be more people looking at me if something goes wrong," he said.

Lake nodded at that and folded his hands together. "How often do you think about that," Lake asked tentatively; "Things going wrong?"

"All the time," Kai said. "Well, let me amend that. I try to think ahead to what might work and what might not, and that includes thinking about what might go catastrophically wrong. I don't think I dwell on it any more or less than any other person in a position of responsibility, but...with this job, there's a lot more responsibility. And yet...it's not that unlike some of the other work I've done. I'm sure you know there's a mental health component to the Independent Duty Corpsman School. My responsibility was to care for both the physical and in some cases mental health of the Raider Teams I was assigned to, and to the starship and starbase crew I served. Obviously, any serious mental or emotional health issues, I would refer up the chain, but sometimes Raiders or other personnel just needed to get stuff off of their chests, just needed some to listen to them while they worked through things out loud. That caring, supporting, and counseling part of my job as an Independent Duty Corpsman continues into this new position."

"Could the emphasis have shifted if the responsibilities are very similar to the work you've done before? How would you gauge the pressures those responsibilities weigh upon you," Lake asked, "compared to your leadership, administrative or technical responsibilities?"

"Maybe I've hit my head too many times in my career," Kai said. "But that question didn't make any sense to me. You'll have to rephrase it somehow or explain it differently."

"I've heard you talk about both the pressures of serving as CoB, as well as the great similarities to the kinds of duties you've served before. Would you say," Lake asked, "your worry about caring, supporting and counseling the crew is more or less than the tasks you need to achieve to launch this ship?"

Kai frowned.

"They're two totally different things requiring two totally different skill sets," he said. "Both have their place and neither one is more or less stressful than the other. It's not bad stress, just stress. The only time a person is stress free is when they're dead, and I've hopefully got another sixty some odd years before I achieve complete stress relief."

"Yes, at least sixty years," Lake agreed in a pleasant timbre. Making a move to return to the LCARS console behind his desk, Lake allowed, "Since you have already been deemed fit for duty, I appreciate you checking in. I should let you get back to launching this tough little ship of ours."

Kai rose and stuck his hand out to the counselor.

"Thanks, Lieutenant," he said. "Hope I wasn't too difficult today. I'll try to loosen up some if we meet professionally in the future."

"Don't change yourself on my account," Lake said, by way of a request. He clasped both of Kai's hands between his own. "We're a deeply diverse crew packed tightly into a small ship. Striving for meaningful, authentic interactions with other beings doesn't always come easily, but they're worth it."

Kai nodded and then got back to work.


[OFF]

Lieutenant Lake ir-Llantrisant
Chief Counselor
USS Galileo-A

HMCM Kai Mazen
Chief of the Boat
USS Galileo-A

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