Deleting...

Posted on 29 Jun 2022 @ 5:12pm by Lieutenant Aria Rice

398 words; about a 2 minute read

Computer, please record a message, then put it in my drafts.

Recording.

To Starfleet Personnel Management.

Subject; Transfer request, Lieutenant Aria Rice, serial number SS-647-9092.

Currently serving as Chief Security Officer, USS Galileo-A.

This is a formal request to transfer off the USS Galileo-A, currently under the command of Commander Morgan Tarin. I am willing to take any position in a Security department.

Reason is...

Computer, pause recording.

Paused.

Reason is that I don't think I got a future here...but it's not like I can say that in a transfer request. I can't be what Tarin wants me to be. I feel that we are beyond micromanaged. I have a department that is three people, myself included. I don't agree with her decisions either, and sometimes it seems she doesn't listen at all.

As if it is out of spite.

And it might be that I am being unfair, but I have never served under a Captain that has treated her people this way. But it this me being childish? Is this what Starfleet has always been and I have somehow been shielded?

Is the truth that I don't belong in Starfleet any more?

It could be. I've always been physically less than your average Security officer. I just thought I made up for it in other areas. But maybe that isn't the case, and I am actually just letting everyone down?

Maybe I am a fool to be here.

I suppose I have to stick this out for a bit. Not like I can transfer off anyway right now, so...computer, delete recording.

Deleted.

I just feel so defeated, overworked and stressed. Four hours a day is not enough sleep for me. But it is all I can afford at the moment, with the workload, the extra exercise, the breakfasts.

I don't feel like myself, but a shadow instead, just following steps. And I really hate that, because I am sounding so...argh...I don't know. Weird? Not me! I sound like not me, and I don't like sounding like not me.

It is now time to report for the daily exercise. Report to Commander Tarin.

Thanks Computer, appreciate you keeping an eye on what I need to do. And sorry, ship, for complaining. It really isn't you, it's...other stuff.

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