Lost

Posted on 26 Nov 2017 @ 2:14am by Commander Marisa Wyatt

451 words; about a 2 minute read

Marisa heard the ping of an incoming message and went to her console to see if it was good news. Rejected? There was no explanation. Not even a "thank you for your interest, but you don't suit our present needs." Just a blunt rejection. Was this going to be the pattern of her Starfleet career? One rejection after another? And all because she was deemed unfit to be a counselor.

She sat down and composed a letter of resignation to Starfleet. She didn't need this. Not after everything she'd been through lately. It was the last straw. She had offers to go teach, or even to work with Pete again. She wasn't ready to go back to teaching, but she could lose herself in long hours of hard work. It would give her time to heal, hopefully.

She looked at her resignation. Short, simple. Blunt. But she didn't feel like being wordy right now, or polite. She was soul-weary and needed something. She hoped working as a scientist on another starship would help. Especially if she could go out to the edge of nowhere. Even if it was called Galileo she could begin to forget. Not just Kreanus and the Cartagena, but the Galileo crew as well. They were scattered now, or would be shortly. As tough as it had been, there was something special about that crew.

She stared at her resignation and told herself to hit send, to just quit and then find some planet in the middle of nowhere and work. It always helped in the past. But she had a feeling that this time, it would take more than just losing herself in work. She would have to face her demons. Was leaving Starfleet the best decision? Maybe.

Another message came in. It was from her mother. An offer to teach at the Vulcan Science Academy. "Oh, mother. I don't know. I just don't know."

She left both messages on her computer, grabbed her backpack, and began to stuff it with camping gear. She needed to get lost for a while. Somewhere. She'd go to the nearest spaceport and see what ship was leaving Earth or what shuttle was going nowhere. She needed to deal with this before it broke her.

She almost sent a message asking for help, but she wasn't sure if she could reach out to anyone right now. It was all cascading down on her: the loss, the pain, the choices, the regrets. She needed...nothing she could get right now. So instead, she would get lost and hopefully find herself. If not, she might just have to stay lost.

She turned out the lights and closed the door behind her.

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